Breaking Free

  Breaking Free

  Alexis Noelle

  Copyright

  Copyright © 2014 Ashley Piscitelli

  All rights Reserved. No parts of this book may be used or reproduced in any matter without written permission from the author, except for inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, establishments, organizations, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously to give a sense of authenticity. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be given away to another person except when loaned out per Amazon lending program. If you’re reading this and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then it was pirated illegally. Please purchase a copy of your own and respect the hard work of this author.

  Prologue

  Three months ago…

  I finally have my first date with Josh tonight. We met online a month or so ago and have been talking non-stop ever since. The doorbell rings and I practically run down the steps. My heart is beating so fast and I have butterflies in my stomach. When I open the door, my heart stops, and before I can scream, he shoves something over my mouth. I try to struggle, but after less than a minute I fall to the ground.

  He’s moving his hands up and down my side, over my breasts, and dragging his fingers through my hair. It is meant as a seductive, loving touch, but it makes me sick. I try to open my eyes but they won’t cooperate. He’s telling me how happy we will all be together and how long he has waited for this. I need to open my eyes, I need to yell for help, but I can’t.

  His rough hand cups me and I silently cry. His hands feel like weapons that are attacking me. He tells me, “I can’t wait until I can sink myself deep inside you.” Please no. Please don’t let him do this to me. His arms are wrapped around me, carrying me somewhere. I just want to go home. I want him to stop touching me. I want to escape. I try to stay awake but everything fades to black.

  It’s so dark that I can’t even see two inches in front of my face, and I have absolutely no idea where I am. My wrists are secured behind me, my guess is with rope. My ankles are also bound together and I’m starting to lose feeling in all of my limbs. My mouth is taped shut, ensuring that I can get help from no one. As I’m lying here, trapped, all I can think is how stupid I was.

  All I wanted was to have someone just like everyone else, but my stupid desperation led me here. Chris is an evil bastard, so I know that what he has planned for me is going to be bad. A series of loud pops make my stomach drop. Gun shots. I say a silent prayer that those were not aimed at anyone I love. Not being able to see really sharpens your other senses. I hear a car pull up, and a set of heels clicking on the pavement.

  I try to shift or move around—anything to make noise—but it’s useless. The footsteps fade away, leaving me alone once again. My chest is really tight and it’s getting harder and harder to breathe. I need my inhaler. I try to open my mouth and create a hole in the duct tape, so that I can breathe through my mouth, but it doesn’t work. I cough to try and relieve some of the tightness, but with my mouth closed, it feels as if each breath I take is slowly suffocating me. I try to inhale again but it seems that I can’t exhale fast enough before I need more air.

  I hear sirens now and I am praying that someone, anyone, will find me. My head is pounding and I feel like I’m spinning even though I know that I’m not. I need medicine badly, but I have very little hope that I will get any.

  The screeching of brakes and slamming of doors startles me. I’m starting to drift off now and keeping my eyes open seems to be a full-time job. A slew of different curse words are screamed by whoever gets out of the car. There has to be at least three or four people, but everyone is talking and I’m so out of it I can’t figure out who the voices belong to.

  I lie here, wishing I could go back and rewind the night. I tried to put myself out there and find what everyone else around me seems to have. Maybe I’m not meant to have someone. That’s what got me into this mess anyway, right? My need to be loved by someone, my stupid fantasy that I would find someone who was perfect for me like everyone else in my life had.

  I hear noises. I think it may be people talking, but I am too out of it to be able to pick up on anything that’s going on. I close my eyes and surrender myself to the idea that I may not be found. I hear a mixture of sounds. Everyone is around me but no one knows I’m here.

  I am jolted awake by a rush of cold air, but my eyes are so heavy that I can’t even open them all the way. Someone’s arms encircle me and lift me up. I want to struggle, but I have no energy. Their touch feels like fire on my skin and I can’t tolerate it. I don’t want to be held, I just want to be alone. I drift back asleep as I feel the person lay me down.

  My last thought is that if I make it out of this alive, I will never put myself in the position to be affected by anyone in any way ever again.

  Chapter One

  “Nic, listen, I know how much you want to go but I really don’t.” I lift my head off the pillow to see her scowling at me. “Ugh! Fine!” I get up off the bed and walk over to the door. Nicole is one of my best friends and her birthday was last month. Her boyfriend, Jason, got her tickets to see one of the bands she loves. Surprisingly enough, it’s actually this band that has been around for around a year or so. They have made a splash in the rock world and are all you hear on the radio anymore. Nicole has always been a diehard country fan, but Jason refuses to play anything but rock. She discovered this band, The Renegades, a few months ago and this is the first show that they have done close to us.

  “You are not going like that.” Nicole is standing in my doorway with her hands on her hips.

  “Why not?” I look at myself in the mirror. I’m wearing black yoga pants and a t-shirt that says ‘I’m not short I’m fun sized’.

  “One, because you slept in those clothes last night and you can tell. Two, because you look like the pictures that people post of the hot messes they find in Wal-Mart. Oh, and three, because it’s my birthday and I said so.” She sticks her tongue out at me.

  I narrow my eyes at her and flip her the middle finger before I walk over to my dresser and pull out a pair of skinny jeans. As I’m putting them on, Nicole is rooting through my closet. She walks over to me and hands me a v-neck shirt that is so low cut I usually wear a tank top under it.

  I pull it on, not caring because it doesn’t matter to me how I look. I have absolutely no interest in ‘hooking me a man’, as Nicole says. I follow her downstairs to meet with our other two friends Christen, and Madison. Every single one of my friends is in the type of relationship I had always dreamed about. They have someone that would walk through hell for them, which is great, but just not something that I want or need anymore.

  My brother, Carter, walks toward me with a look of disapproval on his face. “That’s really what your wearing, Holly?”

  I love my brother very much but sometimes he can be such an overprotective pain in the ass. He and Madison have been together for a while and now are planning their wedding for this summer. “Yeah it is, dad.” I walk out of the house, not wanting to hear any other objections from him.

  Carter and Madison have the perfect relationship, although I don’t know how the hell she stands him sometimes. We all went with her to pick out her wedding dress and the bridesmaids dresses last week and she looked amazing. The entire time I was watching the joy in her face as she tried on dress after dress, reliving the time when I used to hope that one day that could be me.

  I hear someone come up behind me and I know that it’s Carter. He puts his arm around my shoulder and
pulls me toward him. “Listen, I just don’t want you to get hassled by assholes all night.”

  He is still talking to me but all I can focus on is his arm. It feels like his skin is made of needles that are stabbing me and I want to scream at him to let me go. Ever since the ‘incident’ a few months ago, I can’t stand to be touched. It’s not even that I don’t like it, I just can’t handle it. I haven’t told anyone because I don’t want to be psychoanalyzed, and knowing Carter, he would run to my dad and tell him.

  He pulls me into a hug and then pulls back to look at me. “Does that make sense?”

  I nod my head because I want him to think that I was listening to what he was saying. The girls come out of the house and we all pile into Carter’s car because he insisted on driving us there and picking us up.

  The concert is at an outdoor venue, and thankfully it isn’t that cold out tonight. The seating situation is basically first come first serve. Once Carter drops us off, we all head straight for the stage.

  “Anyone else want a drink? I’m gonna grab something for Nicole and me. ” Madison and Nicole are both twenty-one, but Christen and I are a year younger.

  I shake my head no. It only takes them a few minutes to get drinks, and when they get back, people are starting to crowd around the stage. “I’m going to run to the bathroom.” I don’t need to go to the bathroom; I just want to get away for a minute and get some air. I walk away, trying to figure out how I am going to deal with being so close to so many people tonight.

  I walk around toward the back of the building. There’s a railing separating the parking lot and the venue that looks like a good place to hide, so I walk over to it and sit down on the top rail. It’s so quiet and peaceful back here, much different from the front where everyone has started to gather. I lean back and stare up at the sky, wishing that I could be like the rest of my friends. I want to be happy, carefree, and not jump every time someone brushes by me, but I’m not.

  “What are you doing back here?” a husky voice whispers in my ear.

  I jump, a little startled by the fact that someone has gotten so close to me without me realizing it. Losing my balance, I almost fall backward as a hand snakes around my waist and steadies me. I brace myself for the pain of his touch, but instead of it hurting, it seems to set my body on high alert.

  I look over at the person holding me and gasp. He may be the hottest man I have ever seen in person with dark brown hair that I want to run my fingers through and maybe pull a little bit. His black t-shirt hugs his biceps so tightly that I wouldn’t be surprised if it ripped. His eyes are the color of the ocean you always see in those ads for tropical getaways. My attention is drawn to his full lips, drawn in a smirk, as he darts his tongue out to wet them. Watching him slowly slide his tongue across his lips, I have fantasies about it being all over me. I have no doubt that he must be able to see my desire written all over my face because he leans in as if he is about to kiss me.

  That’s when I snap out of the spell he had put me under. I hop down off of the railing and disentangle myself from the hold that he has on me. Wishing the ground would just open up and swallow me whole, I begin my walk back toward the stage area.

  “Not even a thank you?” I stop walking and look back at him over my shoulder. “The least you could do is tell me your name.”

  He walks toward me and my heart starts to beat so fast it feels like it’s about to come right out of my chest. I walk backward, trying to put space between us, but quickly find myself backed against the wall. Before I know it, Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome is within a couple inches of me and looking down at me with a look that could melt the panties off of any straight woman.

  He threads his hands through my hair. “What’s your name?”

  His face is so close to mine that if I moved even a centimeter our lips would be touching. I shake my head no; he doesn’t need my name. I really need to get out of here, but my legs are no longer listening to my brain.

  His mouth crashes against mine with such force that I am now flush with the cold stone wall behind me. He releases my hair and moves his hands down my arms until they find mine. Threading his fingers with mine, he slowly raises them above my head, and at the same time his tongue invades my mouth. I have never in my life been kissed like this and I am now putty in his hands, for him to do with whatever he wants. I think the most startling thing to me is the fact that his touch seems to set my senses on fire.

  His free hand moves back down my side, tracing the curves of my breasts, my hips, and then finally stopping at the top of my jeans. His hand slowly moves toward the part of my body that is now screaming for him. Even with my jeans on, as soon as his fingertips brush over the top of me, I let out a moan.

  I try to move my hands so I can wrap them around him but he’s not letting them go. His thumb is slowly circling my clit while his fingers are cupping the rest of me, driving me insane. I can’t believe that he’s making me feel this good and I’m still completely dressed. What the heck could he do if we were actually naked?

  He grasps my bottom lip in between his teeth. “Tell. Me. Your. Name.”

  “Holly…Holly James.” My name comes out as more of a moan than I would have liked it to.

  He releases my lips and starts to kiss his way down my neck until he gets to the V of my shirt. His hand starts to move faster against me as he continues his assault on me with his mouth. I can’t believe this, but I am so damn close to an orgasm.

  His hand stills and he rests his forehead against mine. I push my hips toward him, begging him to finish what he has started and not to leave me in limbo. A cocky laugh escapes his lips. He presses his mouth to mine again and then steps away from me. My hands slowly sink down and I look at him in confusion.

  “Nice to meet you, Holly James.”

  My mouth drops open and I am completely speechless as I watch him walk away. Nice to meet me? What a fucking asshole.

  I try to smooth out my hair and clothes as best as I can. The show begins but I have no ambition to go join the girls. I walk around for a while before I decide I probably should go and see them. As I’m walking back toward the stage, I’m squeezing my thighs together, trying to get any little bit of relief. I can’t believe that bastard did that to me, but even worse, I can’t believe that I let him. Why did his touch not bother me? I can’t even stand when my best friends or my brother touch me, but that asshole can?

  Since the attack, I have been so careful around men I don’t know. Even sometimes just a look from a stranger will make me panic, but doing me against a wall…that’s okay? My head is so royally fucked up. I doubt any of this would make sense to anyone, especially because it doesn’t even make sense to me.

  The girls are all the way at the front of the crowd and I push my way through the people, flinching every time I touch one of them. This only pisses me off more because all I can think about is that jerk’s hands all over me. He was so insistent to learn my name, but did he ever tell me his? Nope.

  Christen spots me first and looks relieved. “Where the heck did you go?”

  “I just took a walk around to get some air.” The look she gives me tells me that she isn’t buying it. Everyone is cheering and singing along to the music while I’m freaking out. Having everyone around me like this is so suffocating that I think I might actually have a panic attack. The band is playing but all I can focus on is the fear laced through my body. I almost feel like I’m drowning and dizziness sets in.

  I don’t want to leave and have everyone start to ask me questions about what’s going on with me. Christen is already really suspicious; she’s known that something was up since day one. There have been a couple of times that she tried to talk to me about it, but I just blew it off like it was nothing. It’s my problem and I’ll figure out how to deal with it.

  The music has stopped and someone starts talking. My head is spinning and my ears are ringing, so I can’t really make out what is being said. I lean in to whisper in Christen’s ear, “Listen,
I don’t feel good. You guys have fun, I’m gonna catch a cab home.”

  She opens her mouth, about to protest I’m sure, when Nicole grabs my hand, lifts it in the air, and starts yelling. My wrist is on fire, and not in the good way like it was earlier with Mr. love ‘em and leave ‘em. Please let go. Please let go. Please let go. Something else is said on stage and she starts to jump up and down.

  I look at her in confusion. “Go up, Holly!”

  I take this opportunity to pull my hand down and free myself of her hold. “What? Go up where?”

  “On stage! They picked you!” I look around and everyone is staring at me. “Go! Come on!”

  Nicole goes to grab my hand again, I’m assuming to lead me up there. I decide to just go myself to spare the pain of her taking me. As I walk toward the stage, everyone moves out of my way, almost like the sea parting. When I get to the side of the stage where the steps are, a security guard stops me and pats me down, I guess to check for weapons.

  “Here you go.” He hands me a microphone and then moves out of my way. I look at him in confusion. “Listen, don’t be nervous you’ll be fine.”

  “What am I supposed to do?”

  He laughs. “I’m guessing you weren’t paying attention when your fiend volunteered you.” I shake my head no. “Every show they pick a girl to come up on stage with them and sing their newest single Love and Hate. It’s a duet, so I hope you know the words.”

  Before I can say another word, a girl dressed all in black with a headset on goes to reach for my hand and I jerk away from her. She gives me an annoyed look. “Let’s go, you’re holding up the whole show.”

  Fuck. I’m not a horrible singer, but I definitely don’t want to do this shit. I think about walking away, but I know the girls will freak and insist on me telling them what’s going on. I take a deep breath and walk up the steps.