Breaking Free Read online

  “Come on, Mom! No advice?”

  She turns toward me. “Make it right.”

  That’s all she says. She had advice for what to do if someone said a swear word in front of me, but with this she says ‘make it right’? I pull out my phone and text her. I know it’s the coward’s way out, but right now that’s what I am. A fucking coward. She won’t answer me after multiple messages, so I decide to call her.

  Her voicemail picks up. “James, listen I need to talk to you. Please just pick up the phone. Text me back. Please.”

  When my phone beeps, I thank God. Until I read the message.

  Holly: I don’t think that you get that I am done with you. I hate you for what you did and the way you treated me. I hate you for making me feel safe when I wasn’t. I hate that I let myself trust you, only for you to turn around and crush me. Leave me alone. I don’t ever want to see you, or hear from you again.

  So that’s it, she hates me. Hell, I would fucking hate me, too. I actually kind of do. This reminds me of when she left the first time. I didn’t take her seriously then; I knew she would come back if I asked her to. Unfortunately, the first time I could get to her then was almost a week after she left. I still knew that she wouldn’t say no to me.

  This time it’s different, though. This time I really screwed up, and I can’t just show up and force her to come back. I didn’t realize how much I cared about her until last night. Until I watched her tell me what happened to her and saw the tears in her eyes. Fuck, it hurt to see that. I was in a situation again that I couldn’t control and I couldn’t make right, and I flipped the fuck out.

  I think it hit me on the ride to the venue—I loved her. However, this was another girl that I loved that I couldn’t save. I can’t protect her from the pain that she experiences on a daily basis. I can’t make it go away. I can’t handle that. I saw her way before she thought I did. We could be in a massive crowd that was stampeding and I would always find her. I needed to find a way to drive her away, so when we took our break before the encore and my manager said Leslie Chaucer wanted to do the song with us, it was the perfect opportunity. She had been eye fucking me from backstage the entire show so I knew she would play along.

  I watched Holly’s face when I was with Leslie and I saw the pain there but I was too drunk and stubborn to realize what I was doing. I did the same thing when she came into my dressing room. I just needed her to go and get away from me. So I pushed her away, but now I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get her back.

  * * *

  I’ve been calling and texting Holly for the last month but she hasn’t replied to me since that first day. I’ve been fucking lost without her and I’m still trying to work past the issues in my own head. My mom and I visited Sarah’s grave the other day and I said my final goodbye to her and also told her how sorry I was. I knew I had to put Sarah behind me if I were going to have a future with Holly.

  Now I’m standing outside of her brother’s wedding, getting ready to hijack it. I watched the ceremony from the trees and she looked fucking gorgeous. I have never been nervous before a performance before, but this is different. This is my life.

  When I walk in and the piano starts, everyone’s heads turn toward me. I see her brothers and the other two musketeers ready to pounce until the girls hold them back. I make my way toward Holly, not being able to tell if she’s happy or not that I’m here. Once I start to sing to her, tears well in her eyes. God, I hope they’re happy tears.

  Tears are streaming down her face by the time I get to the last line in my song. I throw the microphone on a nearby table and place my hands on the sides of her head. “I have missed you so fucking much, James. Until you left, I had no idea how much I needed you. I know you may not believe me, but nothing happened that night. I just wanted you to think it did. I wanted to drive you away because I couldn’t deal with the shit in my own head. I knew the next day though, how much of a mistake I had made. You’re it for me, you’re my fucking forever. Even if I’m not yours anymore.”

  I wait for her to respond, but she doesn’t. Maybe I just fucked up too much. I drop my hands to my side before walking out of the room like a dog with my tail between my legs. I swear for the first time since Sarah died, I might actually cry. I shake my head as I climb into my car, then I hear her.

  “Drew!” I turn and see her standing at the door. I turn toward her as she runs to me and catch her when she jumps into my arms. “I love you. I fucking love you so much.”

  Her mouth crashes down on me and I dig my fingers into her, praying that this isn’t a dream, that it’s fucking real. She came back. I fought for her and it worked. I can now take my girl home and show her how much I love her.

  Holly

  It’s been six months since the wedding, since the day my life took a turn for the better. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist regularly to help with my issues, and I have to say it’s been helping. I can even tolerate a little contact now. It can’t be long or anything too harsh but I’m working through it. Drew has been amazing through everything. I never thought that he would stick by me the way that he has.

  We’ve been on his tour for what seems like forever and I’m excited to finally go back to his house for a few days. After that, we are going to be making a trip to see my brother and everyone else. Drew is even going to meet my dad, which I have to admit scares me a little bit.

  My feet are killing me in these damn heels, so once we pull up to the house I’m ecstatic to get in and relax. When I open the door, there are candles on every single surface of the room. Soft music plays in the background and I can feel Drew standing behind me.

  “You did all of this?”

  He nods his head against my skin as he walks me further into the house and kicks the door closed. “Close your eyes.” I do as he says, half excited and half scared as to what might happen.

  “Open.”

  When I open them I’m instantly confused. Carter, Nicole, Madison, Christen, Shawn, and Jason are all standing in a line behind Drew. Then they begin to pull poster boards out from behind them.

  I laugh and begin to read them. Will. You. Marry. Me. James. ?

  My hand instinctively goes to my mouth, and when I look at Drew, he’s down on one knee. Oh my God.

  “Holly James, you have made the past six months the best of my life. I need you here beside me every minute of every day. Until I met you, I had no idea how good my life could be. You brought light into my eternal darkness. You made me see how much one person can make you want to be good, and make you want to better. You do that for me. I want to be the best fucking person I can be when I’m around you because you are the most amazing person I’ve ever known. Will you make me the happiest damn person in the world and marry me?”

  “Yes!” I scream and Drew slips the ring onto my finger, and then picks me up and kisses me.

  I can’t believe it. After all of these years, I finally got my fairy tale. I finally got my happy ending.

  Acknowledgements

  I would like to thank all of my family and friends who have believed in me and supported me. Especially my husband who has been constantly encouraging me throughout this whole process. I couldn’t have done it without your love and support.

  I would also like to say thank you to my friends who endured me constantly talking about this book and its characters as if they were real. You gave me advice and listened when I was frustrated and just needed to vent.

  I have met so many wonderful people through this entire process and have made some amazing friends. I want to say thank you to all of my amazing betas who guided me, and helped me make this story what it is. There are so many people that I should thank but I especially want to say it to Stephanie Phillips, Angie Johnson, Heather Carver, and Arianna McWilliams. You ladies have all helped me more then you can imagine. I would also like to thank Marisa Shor from Cover Me Darling for being amazing and creating a beautiful cover.

  I would also like to thank my Street Team for
all of their support. Thank you girls for taking the time to talk with me, give me advice, read different parts of the book I sent you, and definitely thank you for helping me get my name out there! I appreciate each and every one of you so much!

  I also want to thank the readers. I love being able to interact with you and talk with you about the books. I never thought that I would be able to have one book published, much less four and I appreciate the support of every single one of you.

  If you liked this book please consider leaving a review for it!

  About The Author

  Alexis Noelle lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with her husband, three kids, and dog. On top of starting a writing career, she is a full-time student and a full-time mom. She loves to spend her free time with her kids, although she has to hide the computer from them when she is writing!

  She loves to read romance books! The books she likes to read and write are be ones that make you feel for the characters. She believes you should have an opinion on every character in a book whether you love them, hate them, or think they are up to something.

  She has always thought that the most important critic is the reader, so she would love to hear from you. If you read the book and loved it or hated it, let her know. As long as it is in a constructive way, she will always answer and interact with you. She wants fans to feel free to tell her what they want for the characters in the story, and what they want to see happen.

  Please visit my facebook page at:

  https://www.facebook.com/AlexisNoelleAuthor

  You can also email me your thoughts or questions at:

  [email protected]

  You can also follow me on twitter at:

  _alexisnoelle_

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Epilogue